News and Notes: The Plots Thicken

"Five Girls Reading Newspapers In The Library At The
Emily McPherson College," Museum Victoria Collections.

The Richmond VA blogosphere is clogged with metropolitan current events musings, mullings and mischievousness, thus, the Blue Raccoon has for the most part let others, who are often much more qualified, do the squawking. But one egregious event caused me, and others, to raise our virtual voices united by disbelief and disappointment.

My posts were made in an emotional flurry between September 22-25, 2007 and concerned the attempted forced removal the Richmond School Board from City Hall, the prevention of entry by the public and press by police. The nocturnal eviction was stayed by a judge and legal wrangling and political posturing occurred.

Given my excitation at the time, I thought that recent reports in Style Weekly and the Richmond Times-Dispatch that I should make at least reference to what is still not quite clear about what the School Board knew and when.

The January 2, 2008 issue of Style carries the article headlined, "Did schools help plan attempted move?"

Chris Dovi writes, "Schools administration officials, who have maintained their ignorance about why the move was carried out so suddenly — under the cover of night and with the aid of Richmond Police — were far more involved in the planning of that move than previously disclosed, according to internal documents obtained by Style Weekly.

City documents and interoffice communications obtained through multiple Freedom of Information Act requests indicate that schools officials not only knew about the planned move, but also were initially involved in negotiating the lease for the 3600 W. Broad St. building where Wilder tried to move them. They also helped develop the timeline to move schools offices out of City Hall by Sept. 30."

I refer you to the article linked above; suffice to say, the school administration doesn't come across as more sinned against than sinning but more confused and willful than smart. And the Governor-Mayor is, well, his intransigent self. The immovable object and the irresistible force paradox comes to mind...

By Saturday, January 5, matters had proceeded further, as described by the Times-Dispatch's Michael Martz, as "members of a special committee of Richmond City Council are demanding a full accounting of a botched attempt to evict the school administration from City Hall."

The day before, the committee issued a subpoena "to Chief Administrative Officer Sheila Hill-Christian, who didn't work for the city when Mayor L. Douglas Wilder ordered the school offices moved.

The decision to issue the subpoena for documents related to the eviction was made without fanfare or speeches, even a formal vote."

The Governor-Mayor blustered and basically called the committee silly geese.

The meat of the matter is thus, as Martz described:

"Yesterday's meeting was the committee's third since its inception in the fall. The committee has received a substantial volume of documents and information from the administration -- the stack is about 5 inches thick -- but City Council Chief of Staff Daisy Weaver reported yesterday that some information requested hasn't been delivered, including:

Forms showing signed authorization for 35 procurement orders made by the administration to carry out the attempted eviction;

E-mails, correspondence, instruction sheets, schedules and the written minutes of meetings related to the move; and

Documentation of who authorized the transfer of up to $500,000 used for the move from a budget fund for repaying a loan that was used to buy properties damaged by flooding around Battery Park during Tropical Storm Ernesto in 2006."

While this is transpiring, effusive and celebratory headlines proclaim Richmond's plummeting murder rate and general increase of safety. Articles credit the leadership of Chief Rodney D. Monroe, who was also featured in the recent Style as Richmonder of the Year.

The story by Scott Bass didn't shy away from Monroe's role in the September fracas at City Hall.

"... There was also Monroe’s role in ensuring that City Hall, a public building, remained closed to public officials, journalists and other citizens the night of Sept. 21, turning City Hall into a mini police state during Wilder’s attempted eviction of the School Board and Richmond Public Schools.

Monroe doesn’t view either decision as a mistake, or the potentially damaging perception that his police department has become the strong-arm of Mayor Wilder. As for the City Hall fiasco, he says he strongly believes his department had a duty to man the doors to prevent a potentially “volatile situation” from getting ugly."

And:

"For all his strengths and leadership skills, Monroe can come off as painfully simplistic. He equates the City Hall closing, for example, as no different than police helping a landlord evict a tenant, a common practice. He’s seemingly oblivious to the analogy’s main weakness: Closing City Hall to the public more closely resembles evicting the landlord at the request of the tenant."

Monroe is capable and committed administrator and law officer, though there is criticism about some of his management decisions. Further, attorney Stephen Bemjamin muses in the Bass feature about whether the murder rate's wonderful decline is due togood policing, or a stabilization of Richmond's unfortunate drug market. There haven't been any huge busts of rings or gangs of late, and hence no murderous jostling for control in trafficking.

But for me, as a citizen, the saddest part of this is that Monroe permitted his officers seal off City Hall as though his force was the Governor-Mayor's gendarmarie. The excuse that the Chief was just.... following orders shouldn't wash with anybody and should raise concern.

In the meantime, RVA's to-ing and fro-ing diminish before the life and death issues of politics in Kenya, and the Russian states of Georgia and Ukraine.

All that considerable business aside, I am a Richmonder, who lives, works and wanders in its sacred precincts.

Still, when contemplating the whys and hows of Richmond's municipal vagaries, I am reminded of Dan Aykroyd' s Saturday Night Live character Leonard Pinth-Garnell. A tuxedoed spoof of Masterpiece Theatre's refined yet avuncular Alistair Cooke, Garnell hosted a show that celebrated lousy performances. He'd introduce the bits as "Bad Red Chinese Ballet" and "Bad Playhouse" and "Bad Conceptual Theatre." The skit always concluded with Pinth-Garnell giving some enthusiastic embracing of the sheer awfulness of the presentation, capping it with glee in proportion to the poor quality of the presentation, like "Stunningly bad!" and "Astonishingly ill-chosen!" and "Unrelentingly bad!"

I echo Pinth-Garnell when considering the late matters involving City Hall. "Monumentally ill-advised!"

Where the Pinth-Garnell's appearances were restricted to short, funny three-minute skits, Richmond's City Hall history is a long and unrelieved history of the botched and bungled. One may point out this credible official, or that admirable public servant, but the exasperating aspect of studying the city's governance reveals a quality, as a whole, to quote Ross Perot, "that is just sad."

Perhaps light may break through the clouds of Richmond's City Hall history. After all, during most of its urban political life, neither women nor minorities could vote. For the latter half of the 20th century, Richmond's mayors were appointed from City Council, and the the city was run like a quarrelsome quilting bee, except with money, an often pliant city manager, a drug problem and a tragic murder rate. A needed charter change bequeathed to Richmond the Governor-Mayor. Somebody had to go first.

It's been making the rounds that perhaps Governor Tim Kaine, a former mayor, could step into the presidency of Virginia Commonwealth University after the institution's current executive 2010 retirement. Kaine, as I've noted in this space earlier, isn't too hep anymore on the rigors of elected office. His leadership would be a boon for VCU, my alma mater, but I have a suggestion. We've had one Governor-Mayor, bring Tim back but armed with the tools of a strong mayor-at-large that he suggested years go. But, Richmonders may well be done with a past Governor as Mayor.

I'd just like to see someone with a depth of experience at the state level to work toward a greater regional vision. It ain't gonna happen with the present city administration which despite high flown rhetoric is mired in the petty and picayune. I wanted The West Wing and got Spin City.

Finally, the Governor-Mayor, City Council and the School Board are all elected. They weren't transported into office on a beam of gold light while thrones of angels sang their praises. The city's population offer up a representative few who for varied reasons, enlightened and opportunistic, seek office. The rest of us who bother to vote install them, and, for some reason, even if they are proved of mediocre ability, we keep voting them in. This is endemic throughout the nation, not just here in the Holy City.

And that perhaps is the nubbin of the problem. This is democracy; and Richmond's civil government hasn't really practiced the form until lately, and it's a messy business.

On a consistent basis, somewhere, something almost always goes wrong with Richmond's government. There must be a formula for making it operate for the greater public's benefit. If I had a clue as to this peculiar unified field theory, the Nobel Committee would be paying for my first class trip to Stockholm.

The Burdens of Being a Burgher In Richmond: Assorted points to ponder and the gruesome march of purblind doomsters

The Burghers of Calais, completed in 1888 by Auguste Rodin, via CitySnapper.org

"I have not shown them grouped in a triumphant apotheosis, such a glorification of their heroism would not have corresponded to anything real. On the contrary, I have, as it were, threaded them one behind the other, because in the indecision of that last inner combat which ensues between their cause and their fear of dying, each of them is isolated in front of his conscience. They are still questioning themselves to know if they have the strength to accomplish the supreme sacrifice — their soul pushes them onward, but their feet refuse to walk. They drag themselves along painfully, as much because of the feebleness to which famine has reduced them as because of the terrifying nature of the sacrifice … If I have succeeded in showing how much the body, weakened by the most cruel sufferings, still holds on to life, how much power it still has over the spirit that is consumed with bravery, I congratulate myself on not having remained beneath the noble theme I have dealt with." --Rodin

No, nobody in the city's government is headed for execution--legal injunction, maybe--but random citizens sitting on their front porch are getting shot and killed. Such is life here right here in River City.

Items:

• Why does the Richmond City School Board pay rent, whatever it is, whether $10 [what City Council preferred] or $580,000 [at City Hall] or $605,000 [purported, for 3600 W. Broad St.] a year? This bears some looking into, especially since the Richmond Times-Dispatch pointed out that in neighboring regional localities, this is not the case. How common is this arrangement? The education departments are, after all, functions of civic administration. Taxes are paid to support them--why is Richmond's paying moneys back to the city for its own offices? How is this handled in other cities and states?

• In a previous entry, the statements of Richmond School Board member Carol Wolf: "Go ahead and arrest me," and that of citizen Sababu Sanyika, "Who’s going to uphold the constitution and the rule of law in this city?” were singled out beause it is doubtful any more memorable public utterances will be made here until the end of 2007. One should've anticipated Councilman Marty Jewell, though, a putative supporter of the Governor-Mayor, who in his characteristic unvarnished manner desribed the events of Friday: "It was just butt-ugly."

• The mayor at-large is not a bad idea. The system works if the person who heads it is rational and broad-minded and possessive of wit and clarity of reason.

• Ikia M. Goodman, 25, was killed by a stray bullet during a drive-by shooting while sitting on the front porch of her mother's Tifton Court, South Richmond house. How many systems of society and culture failed to lead to his tragic occurrence -- and one that is repeated in Richmond until the steady drone of death makes no impression upon us?

• On August 29-30, six nuclear missiles were loaded onto a bomber and flown from the Air Force Base in Minot, N.D, across the country to Barksdale, La., and for 36 hours were outside of command-and-control. That is, nobody in the Air Force knew the exact whereabouts of these bombs. A friend during a party on Saturday night mentioned this incident to me, and I kind of dismissed the notion, as he's fond of Interweb rumors and consiracies. I said, probably frowning, "How's this sourced?" Well. Sunday morning, the story occupied prime real estate on the front page of the Washington Post. If you haven't already, you can read about this real and strange and scary situation here and here.

The unfunny part about this is that the Post reported that Air Force officials kept the story buried, though one document stated, "No press interest ancticipated."

I pair this up with recent reports--Ron Rosenbaum mentioned it in an August 31 Slate article--of the resumption of strategic bomber flights by Russia. What this means isn't clear; or whether those bombers are even carrying warheads. It could be just an expensive ploy Putin is playing to prove his willingness to expore brinkmanship is bigger than everybody else's.

Rosenbaum further says -- as if this alone isn't enough to have you peering with a squinted eyes into the sky at the sound of low-flying jets - that during the 1980s the Soviets activated a kind of Dr. Strangelove-esque doomsday arrangement of bombs, "And there is no evidence Putin's Russia has deactivated the system."

"The details of this top-secret Soviet system were first revealed in 1993 by Bruce G. Blair, a former American ICBM launch control officer, now one of the country's foremost experts on Russian arms. Fearing that a sneak attack by American submarine-launched missiles might take Moscow out in 13 minutes, the Soviet leadership had authorized the construction of an automated communication network, reinforced to withstand a nuclear strike. At its heart was a computer system similar to the one in Dr. Strangelove. Its code name was Perimetr. It went fully operational in January 1985. It is still in place."

There's more on this story on Rosenbaum's blog, here.

Meanwhile, Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad addressed Columbia University's Department of History, after much to-ing and fro-ing about whether he should be allowed. Last time I looked, this is a democracy, and any idiot can say whatever he damn well pleases and is protected by law to make a fool out of himself. You can read the whole thing here.

I am so tired of religious zealots appealing to the base fears of people in order to promote themselves into positions of power. The world is too complicated and dangerous a place to allow these people to continue and set up the circumstances of global extinction that they want to hurry us into.

That said, don't see this as appeasement, but what makes the U.S. a exception among nations in terms of personal expression; that is, if you overlook illegal wiretapping and extraordinary rendition.

Finally, we should all take a look at the Burmese Buddhist monks who've been marching for days, bare-foot and unarmed to protest government policies there. Compare this image to Rodin's burghers above, "the indecision of that last inner combat which ensues between their cause and their fear of dying...their soul pushes them onward, but their feet refuse to walk." Here are men of faith who are trying to accomplish a transition of power without firing a shot or giving a speech or loading up a nuke.



Via CNN.com --Asia.

Dismemberment Plan


Matthias Grunewald didn't realize that in 1510 he was
describing recent events at Richmond City Hall.


To hear the exasperated and put-upon-sounding Governor-Mayor on Jimmy Barrett's WRVA morning program this ayem, the confusion at City Hall is all just a real estate transaction gone awry. The School Board--says Wilder--takes up too much room at City Hall in outsized proportion to the schools and children that the education division administrates. The School Board has no lease and has--so Wilder and his camp explain--no boilerplate arrangement with the City of Richmond for occupation of its five floors of offices that began in 1972.

Wilder wants other offices, like Economic Development, returned to the fold. Some members of the billion-eyed audience may reall that ED was in 2000 spun out and put in the Maggie Walker Business and Technology Center, 501 E. Franklin St., with the Industrial Development Authority and the non-profit business incubator known as Advantech.

This was back in the day, as the kids say, when John Woodward ran the city's ED and came across as one of the few people in Richmond who knew what they were talking about. Here was a guy who could've gone anywhere, but he carried unabashed allegiances to Richmond, so, of course, the Governor-Mayor ejected him from the game. Woodward is in Atlanta, now, doing quite well, thank you, as Director of Foreign Investment for the City of Atlanta Department of Economic Development. Slacker.

Councilman Bill Pantele sought to create a small business incubator in a dinged-up downtown office building. From a development point of view, seemed to make sense to have new enterprises, the IDA and ED all in one place.

For the past two years, the Governor-Mayor has had other plans, and wants to kick the education department up the street to 3600 W. Broad St., the former Seaboard Railway Building.

[Historical aside: this massive Scott's Addition office builidng was designed by James William Breed (1911-1973). While with Baskervill & Son, he also created the elegant brass grille depicting eight significant personalities in the advancement of medicine, from Hippocrates to Joseph Lister, on the Medical College of Virginia West Hospital. Breed also designed Richmond Memorial Hospital and the Robert Shaw Controls building near Willow Lawn, the latter he considered his masterpiece. He was a Modernist, but not without a sense of humor; 3600 was supposed to look like a caboose for Southern Railway, and when you pass by the builidng on 195 or stand on a Scott's Addition rooftop and take in the view, you can see Breed's wit at work. Breed also designed the decorative wood grill, of cherry and mahogany, to cover the organ pipes of the Richmond Christian Science Church on Monument Avenue.]

So it was that I read the tempering and mediating views of Jon Baliles at River City Rapids, who says, in summary, that the media needs a time out and that this wasn't a coup.

The Governor-Mayor didn't violate the circuit court judge's orders and proceed with moving the School Board offices. Though if they'd shown up at 3600 with their piles of boxes, they wouldn't have been able to gain entry. Nobody on the School Board was given keys. Balisles does see that at the very least, Wilder violated a city ordinance allowing the School Board to remain in City Hall, but the courts now must determine if the ordinance applies under the new regime.

To my mind, In the awful and absurd zero sum game of politics in this nation these days, the maneuver of the Governor-Mayor was, at best, ham-fisted and unpleasant, and, at worst, unconstitutional. He committed a public blunder in that he angred vocal opponents and bullied the media. Then there's that whole idiotic naming of names against Council President Bill Pantele, which is just...inexcusable.

Wilder doesn't care what any of us thinks. He cares about poses and drama. So, he's moved up a timetable from November about who has control of City Hall. But at what aesthetic and psychic cost -- never mind the money. What unfortunate impression has his bollixed overreaching made on those who live here and view Richmond from beyond?

Full disclosure: Through the past several years I wrote and advocated for the direct election of a mayor and the need for a chief executive who would provide a face and voice for the city, a person in whom people could see the emobdiment of Richmond's aspirations and the better aspects of our city's character. I also wanted a decisive but fair leader who could create coalitions and make compromises in the name of getting things done and moving Richmond into a 21st century released from its 20th century baggage of race and economic injustice. That would mean empaneling a dynamic group of advisors from across the spectrums of politics and philosophies and letting them reimagine what this city could become. I wanted us as Richmonders to strut with pride at what was happening at City Hall, not hide our eyes in shame at newspaper headlines and blaring television coverage.

I wanted to vote for a dragon-slayer, not the dragon; I sought a much-needed shake up at City Hall, not a shake down, my expectations were for an unexpected exhiliration about our city's government, not a disheartening and demoralizing debacle. My idea was to restore to Richmond the idea of a civic and cultural beacon; not a mediocre melodrama funded by tax dollars.

I'd hoped for someone who'd addres the Dilllon Rule (and more of it here) and the ridiculous city-county split that is perpetuated by the General Assembly that prevents metropolitan and regional unificaiton. The concept is often used as a boogey man by county adminsitrations -- and Wilder doesn't help matters much. And I so hoped that he would have an opposite effect. He's had no vision, "City of the Future," or no, he's just engaged in turf fights and mud-slinging while claiming this was what the people of Richmond elected him to accomplish.

I wanted somebody like Charleston, S.C.'s Joe Riley to emerge out of the sudden opportunity for Richmond to govern herself. Charleston now has a unique challenge: Riley has been mayor for almost 30 years--he is the longest serving mayor in the nation's history--and is so well liked and competent, that the fear is that electoral politics won't provide another like him, and Charleston may want to return to a City Manager/weak mayor government (!)

But as a friend of mine counseled me a few years ago, who knew City Hall and the system here, be careful what you ask for. He asked me to look around: where was this potential healer-uniter-leader that I sought? Where in the field could he or she be found? If Richmond would be willing to support someone left of center, or--scratch and forget that-- even get excited about somebody with half a clue, instead of becoming infatuated by over-used tropes and applause-line rhetoric. Mind you, I still support the mayor-at-large -- just not this one.

His Excellency said this morning, I thought in rather interesting way, that if City Council doesn't want him vested with the authority of running City Hall, then they need to get sombody else. It was one of this throw-away lines, but, maybe he's right. But for now, we're stuck with him, just like we are with another resident at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

You know, people complain about Richmond's old system of courtesy--which was often used to deflect from real bad things that were allowed to occur and also prevented actual tough decisions and discussion--but in this case, we could use some of that politesse. This brusque kicking around of people and the dismissal of their complaints is no way to run a municipality, and I dare say, I'm not the only one thinking so on this fair Monday.

High Noon At City Hall



Gary Cooper walks the street alone; via The Sheila Variations,
a grand compendium of cinematic criticism, lore and appreciation.



"Go ahead and arrest me." -- Carol Wolf, Richmond School Board member, staring down the mayor's gendarmes at City Hall, Friday, Sept. 21, 2007, after the group was barricaded in City Hall for an hour then not permitted to have a public meeting.


“Who’s going to uphold the constitution and the rule of law in this city?” -- Sababu Sanyika, a Richmond citizen, asking a very good question, after police refused him entry into City Hall.

I don't know what the remainder of the year holds for the people and the people's government of the City of Richmond, but these two quotes, as reported by Style Weekly's Chris Dovi, puts most other public utterances to shame.

Wolf's actions in the face of potential arrest makes Style's May 30, 2007 cover article about her seem prescient. The Scott Elmquist photo of her wrapped in a flag drew the expected to-an-fro in the letters column. But if our own community's leaders won't stand up to authoritarian practices and policies, how can such honorable behavior be expected further up the political ladder?

Further, I'm going out on a limb, but I'm guessing Mr. Sanyika is an immigrant, or the son of recent immigrants, who may have come to this country to avoid such scenes as were enacted in City Hall on Friday.

In the old days, the wire machines rang bells to announce important news, these days, its instant update blogging that provides a bridge between the dead tree fiber media, and the other one that uses the DTFM as a way to provide "reporting" (with some exceptions).

Billion-eyed audience, there are other blogs giving diligence to this story; I hope it just doesn't get shrugs and chuckles from Mr. and Mrs. Murgatroyd. State and federal laws have been broken, and these are not small things.

Read more at Buttermilk & Molasses, where there are four, count'em, entries under September 23; also for Sept. 23, in the Near West End News; and the stalwart Save Richmond.

Sad thing is, Richmond indeed needs saving.

From itself.

No, he really said that...


Lori Petty as Tank Girl, arriving just in time to clean up Richmond's
current political mess.

I didn't see it mentioned here in the Richmond Blog o' Blogs, so I thought this would be the appropriate place. This morning, the Governor-Mayor's Plenipotentiary was quoted in the newspaper saying that he'd told the Governor-Mayor that he expected a purge of School Board offices would have legal consequences. When the Plenipotentiary was asked why he chose to continue with this academic maneuvering, he said, "It's not my call. My responsibility is just to execute." And further pressed about who made the final decision to continue, he said, "I don't know how to answer that."

Excuse me. But what this sounds like the Plenipotentiary is saying is: I was only following orders.

Holy criminy. It's come to this. Look away, Richmond, Vee-ay, look away.

.....About Last Night



Tragic-Comic Opera, the Seafarer by Paul Klee (1934) via humboldt.edu

I doubt that when Paul Klee created this work that he could've imagined the metaphorical qualities fitting the political situation in Ruch'mun' Vee-ay. Here, the exquisite early autumn days have lapsed into late August soggy humidity and heat and I think the change of temperature--besides giving people sneezes and soar throats--has made RVA's political class go stupid. Illustrated here is the vainglorious giant fish slayer, as Hizzoner perceives of himself, poking in the eye with a sharp stick the School Board and anybody else who gets near his position of power.

The billion-eyed audience could care less about our municipal sturm und drang; however, I live here, and the events of Friday, September 21, 2007, reinforce my loving and loathing relationship with this, the city of my nativity. So in my tunnel of work, art, writing and Colonial Avenue I was unaware--and with a certain bliss that is often paired with ignorance--of the fracas at City Hall.

Assorted bloggers and bloggists have joined the howling, handwringing, and metaphorical wrenting of garments and pulling out of hair that accompanies these not infrequent city embarrassments. I in most cases agree with these befuddled and flabbergasted accountings of current events, so I don't devote much time to such topics at the Blue Raccoon. Most times, these days, politics whir above me like the sounds of cicadas along West of the Boulevard's bosky streets.

But this one, well, I can only provide some perspective.

Joy in the Streets

Before I knew any of this, I was at the New York Deli quaffing Legends and later finding my hips and knees shake and swerve to the inspired sounds of the House of Prayer brass band that visits Carytown, usually on Friday nights. More effective than any sermon, far more poetic than a corner exhortation by a sweaty-browed, hoarse-voiced zealot, these guys just make a joyful noise, including a version of Amazing Grace that had me singing like I hadn't since being in the Stockton Memorial Baptist choir. And never with such enthusiasm. Oh, billion-eyed audience, you'd have thought you were in New Orleans.

Unknown to me, across town the public celebration and unveiling of a reinvented portion of the River District/Shockoe a plaza was getting its ribbon-cutting. You can read of this here and here. I cannot speak to the feasibility or aesthetic quality of the space, I've not seen it, but if, like well-placed furniture, it ties together an otherwise fussy room, this sounds like a positive innovation within Richmond's cityscape.

While this design may be a good omen, the events which overshadowed it carry an internal sensation like this 1912 De Chirico painting, with the appropriate title, Enigma of the Hour.


Now, Richomnd's Governor-Mayor was in attendance and according to a news report, was seen "dancing with a blue glow stick around his head." Hey, I'm all in favor of elected officials getting into the spirit, but when contrasted with the train of events of this day and evening, his joyous behavior seemed more absurd than exuberant. Like, a kind of down-market Tony Soprano at a roisterous party while a hit was carried out against a cross-town rival.


A Few Easy Ways To Make Richmond Look Even More Ridiculous

From early afternoon, the Governor-Mayor's minions conducted a purge of City Hall. First , the Minister of Enlightenment declared that a "pattern of porn usage" had been uncovered throughout computers at City Hall. This followed a similar discovery by the city's internal fiscal coordinator that after hours, service and security personnel had run up thousands of dollars in calling phone sex lines. Which leads me to suggest, that while Virginia is for lovers, and visitors should live passionately, that Richmond's slogan should be "Me So Horny."

All City Council aides were instructed by the Governor-Mayor's plenipotentiary that they would need to set up interviews to determine if they could retain their jobs. Then, much later in the afternoon, the Minister of Enlightenment sends round an e-mail urging employees to scat and not come back until Monday morning. Police began to seal off the building although some members of Council and the School Board were permitted to enter.

Now, at this point, the Governor-Mayor was following the rule book for running a coup. Seize the communications, purge the dissenters, and make sure the constabulary is on your side. The Governor-Mayor and the School Board have been at loggerheads since day one, and matters haven't been made better by a group of private businesspeople (The Gang of 26) who want to return to an appointed School Board, rather than an elected one, a suggestion that was met--near as I can determine--by almost uniform apathy by all except for a few media and civitarian types. And bloggers.

The Governor-Mayor hasn't made any friends on the Board by insisting that they should move elsewhere, the pretext being they could save the city money by getting out of City Hall. And so, movers began packing up their offices from six floors of the Great Metal Waffle that is the sad example of the Richmond's City Hall. The School Board tried convening an emergency public meeting but neither the public nor media were allowed to attend, and police threatened journalists with arrest. The Board tried forming a rear-guard defense on the steps of City Hall, but all they could do was look impotent and flabbergasted. The Board commander couldn't persuade police to relent and allow the public in, which, last time I checked, is a Constitutional right. So the School Board members did what most city officials do when at a legal crossroads: they dispatched a runner to jostle awake Henry Marsh III.

Around midnight, a Richmond circuit court judge issued a temporary restraining order to prevent any more moving to be undertaken, and all the king's men had to put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

It was like some kind of Gilbert and Sullivan (or the film Topsy-Turvy) meets banana republic government take-over. And to paraphrase James Branch Cabell, were it not so heart-breaking, it would be side-splitting.

And yet, overnight polling of Mr. and Mrs. Murgatroyd indicate that most television-watching Richmonders (who are probably in Henrico and Chesterfield counties) think it was a jolly good show, since all they care about is entertainment value, not actual functioning government.

What? No gun play?

So this morning I am preambulating past the new Tom & Jerry's ice cream store, when I see this headline: "Chaos erupts at City Hall -- Wilder alleges porn link to Pantele's computer--City evictsd school officials; police ban public from meeting."
So, no shots were fired, except cheap ones, and no harm done except to bruised egos and the backs of movers. A long-standing feud between Council President Pantele--really, almost all of Council-- and the Governor-Mayor has become ugly and personal, and now that the "porn" word has shown up in proximity to an elected official's name, my guess there'll be calls for prayer breakfasts, FBI investigations and televised hearings on QVC.

Billion-eyed audience, the political forecast for Richmond for the next several months is, I predict, storms with subpoena-sized law suits. The affronted School Board, the insulted President of Council, and heck, I think the whole city should engage in a class action suit against the Governor Mayor. Just for drama, you understand.

Frankly, I think there's only one savior possible for the City of Richmond, Virginia. And here she is:


Leeloo, from the Fifth Element, or, more to the point, in this version:



Yup, she swaggers into town, and all this unpleasantness will just go away in bloody ribbons because she's armed and fabulous. Can you not see it? She bursts into the Governor-Mayor's office, assumes a martial pose and announces, "Hey Gov, don't look now, but it's Milla Time."

But, more of her, anon.


What Price Democracy?

Meanwhile, on B-2 of the morning paper, Governor Tim Kaine was reported as having addressed the 2007 National Federation of Press Women and said that when his term expires in 2010, he may not seek another public office. He voiced concerns about seeking elective office, among them low voter turn out, public scrutiny, time away from family and the sheer expense of campaigning.

"The price of elections is high enough that it excludes an awful lot of good people who might otherwise run for public office. It may not be unconstitutional, but it has the same kind of effect."

A-men brother, a-men.